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Suddenly, their relationship went from elegant Saturday night dates to random 2 am hookups. They were still in the casual getting to know one another phase.He never texted her earlier than 11pm and while he was nice and sweet and all that when they hung out, all he wanted was to fool around (and sometimes order in food and fool around). He hadn’t shown any level of investment (I know going on three Saturday night dates in a row with a guy can feel like he’s investing, but it’s not so).
And when they did, my friend finally called me up and said: “I don’t get this, I really, really like him. I first pointed out the fact that she didn’t start really, really liking him until he stopped acting that way toward her. A girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date after an evening of intense, meaningful conversation that fosters a bond is much more likely to have a lasting relationship than a girl who sleeps with a guy she hasn’t really formed a connection with on the fifth date.Many years ago, a guy friend said something that completely changed the way I viewed sex and relationships.He said: “Before a girl sleeps with a guy, she has all the power.You don’t often see a woman plotting ways to sleep with many men and wiggle out of any sort of commitment, or a man trying to figure out how to get a girl to just commit and want only him.Just as there is a stigma against women who sleep with a lot of men, there is a stigma against men who are super into commitment and invest way too soon.