Dating a bi girl
It also overlaps with the stereotype that bi people are sexually insatiable and will seek out anything with a pulse to satisfy their raging libido. But I have had a few comments about how relieved I must be that, like Jessie J's, my experimental phase is over. Evan Rachel Wood, who is bisexual, told a journalist for Out magazine, "People like things black and white. Grey areas make people uneasy." Marriage seems like a definitive choice, like you've FINALLY chosen one team over the other, which is obviously pretty uncomfortable, since I'm still firmly in that grey space. Critics treat you as if you have taken one of two paths: either you've relinquished your bisexual identity, and so seem to have abandoned queer struggle to take refuge in the safe familiarity of the patriarchy, or you've kept it and are seen as incapable of dealing with the structures of state-sanctioned monogamy. Here's the thing — monogamy doesn't mean that your genitals are programmed only to want your partner's genitals forever more.
The LGBT community and marriage have a very fraught relationship, with a legacy of "traditional" gender roles and inherent historical patriarchy to battle. Marriage is never an "easy" decision, regardless of sexuality, and if I'd fallen in love with a lady, I would have married a lady. Won't your partner think there's a little bit of you he can't satisfy? Attraction to others, regardless of orientation, doesn't cease because you put a ring on it.
One wrote: 'The girls I've dated have actually been significantly quicker to tell me when somethings (sic) wrong. Another said that men were more likely to give up in disagreements, than women - particularly if they're petty.
Meanwhile, others pointed out physical differences between men and women, beyond the obvious.
These range from how they show their emotions to what they are like in the bedroom - with one suggesting that sex with women 'tends to last longer'.
When our relationship is viewed from the outside, these ideas sit atop it like an incongruous cheap baseball cap and affect how we're perceived. Having a legally married dude partner means that, for some very lovely LGBT friends, I have sadly lost all my gay points, copped out, thrown in the rainbow-colored towel, and can no longer take part of Pride activities because I'm too busy being committed to male genitalia.
One Reddit user said women's skin tends to be softer, adding 'All that moisturising pays off.' Another said that women kiss differently because they have 'softer lips', and tend to be more gentle.
Just like Anna Paquin, who tweeted about her bisexuality and marriage for Pride Month, I am a bisexual woman, attracted to both men and women, and I am proudly married to a man who's only attracted to ladies*. But together we have discovered that, through no conscious fault of our own, we confuse people. (More on that later.)Much of this confusion seems to come from two sources: preconceptions about bisexuality and how it works, and preconceptions about marriage and what it's for. Bi people are in a particular bind when it comes to their dating pool: If they find a partner of the opposite sex, they run the risk of being accused of queer treason.
But the underlying assumption, that threesomes are regularly on the sexual menu, isn't too uncommon. And then there are the people who decide I was never actually REALLY queer at all, that I was either a L. G — Lesbian Until Graduation — dating women because it was fashionable and edgy or because I was just confused.
It defines "bisexual" as "can't be satisfied without both sexes at once," which is another, entirely different sexual identity. Nobody's actually congratulated my dude on "turning me" or "helping me make up my mind" — yet. People can be very uncomfortable with the concept of bisexuality as a permanent identity rather than a 'holding pattern' while you choose which gender you REALLY like. "Welcome to a contradiction of bi-and-married existence.